What Does The New Year Bring?

Did you write a list of New Year's resolutions? Were your thoughts about what you want/need/wish to accomplish with a clean fresh year ahead of you?

Many people use the new year as a time to set goals and challenge themselves. Losing weight, quitting smoking, eating healthier are often resolutions that people make.

But what if you believed that 2008 would be your last year on this planet? What if you only had 365, 364, 63, 62....days to go? What would your resolutions for 2008 be then?

Dr. Bernie Siegel comments in his book "Prescriptions for Living" that he often hears people saying things like "When I am 40 I will travel more," "When I am retired I will spend more time with my grandchildren," "When the kids are all grown I am going to start painting again." His answer to statements like these is "Why Wait?" What wait to do these things you obviously want to do? Why not do them now?

Dr. Siegel works with cancer patients. He sees and hears the "if only I would have" and the "I wish I could have" or "I should have done." If there is something you want to do, something you want to change in your life now is the time to do it.

You've heard the question - If you only had one day to live or knew the world would end tomorrow, where would you want to be or what would you want to do? A question like this speaks to our core values as human beings. You never here someone say "If the world is going to end tomorrow I better get the dishes done."

So - here we are with 2008 and the opportunity to make decisions to do things now that we have always said we would do "some day."

"Someday" is not a day of the week on the calendar. It is not a holiday like Valentine's Day or St. Patrick's Day. Some day does not exist. All we have is this day.

Live your life as if it is your last day on earth. Let those you love know you love them. Be the person you have always wanted to be. Take steps towards your dreams whether its travel, retirement, more time with the grandkids or creating space to paint.

There is another corny saying that goes "You know why we call right now the present? Because each day is a gift." And that gift is something you can give to yourself.

Each day is a gift. Just ask someone faced with a diagnosis of cancer. Every day, every breath has become more precious then those before.

Often cancer survivors comment about the changes they made in their life when they were diagnosed. One survivor said "Before I had cancer I never would have thought about shortening my hours at work. Now I work limited hours so I can enjoy my family and I make time for travel with my husband."

So - share. What is it you have always wanted to do or have on that list of "some days"? What is stopping from doing it now?

In Order To Be Prepared

I was sitting at the front desk of the office today when a woman entered the building.

"Hello. How can I help you?" I said in my cheeriest, welcoming voice.

She shared with me that she was having surgery for lung cancer in Seattle this coming Friday and was looking for a wig in case she lost her hair if she has chemotherapy treatment.

We went into Wellness House's wig & hat boutique. We found a couple that matched her hair color but she had a hard time getting them to fit right. It's hard to get a good idea about fit when you have all of your hair still, I explained to her. She got up to go when another wig caught her eye. It was more like her current hair style, although a different color, but she took it anyway. I also gave her a turban to wear should she start losing her hair, if she has chemo.

The woman spoke of getting things in order; taking time to make sure all her bills were paid up, that she had time to speak with her family. Finding a wig was part of her effort to be prepared for what lay ahead - because really, she had no idea of what was going to happen past surgery on Friday.

There are a lot of unknowns when a person is diagnosed with cancer. Life is completely turned upside down and halted, in some cases. Focus goes from the day to day living to simply focusing on living. There are feelings of fear, anger, confusion and feeling out of control of your body and your life.

There are a number of ways to take back some of those feelings of control.

1. Start a notebook. In this notebook include copies of paperwork, notes from conversations with your doctors (you will have several) and questions you have. Keep copies of articles you read or information you find to review with your medical team.


2. Keep a calendar. A place in the notebook may be devoted to a calendar. Use the calendar to schedule your medical appointments as well as your professional and personal appointments. As things progress you will use this calendar to plan appointments and treatments with your medical team that may give you the opportunity to adjust appointments as personal plans like birthdays, weddings and trips come along.


3. Write in a journal. This could be another section of your notebook that you may want to separate in two parts. In one part include a daily log of how you are feeling, especially following surgery or while taking chemotherapy or radiation. You will be told what possible side effects you need to watch for and this is a good way to track those. This also serves as a great communication tool when you go to an appointment and you are asked how you have been doing since your last appointment.


4. The other part of the journal is for you, personally. This is a place when you can get out or put down all the emotions you are having. Your journal is a safe spot where you can get angry, scream (yes, you can scream on paper), cry and expel all the pain you may be feeling. This is also a great place to write down accomplishments and milestones; things that you want to look back at some point and say "Wow. I did it."


5. Begin attending a support group or contact someone about a mentor. Even as early as initial diagnosis, connecting with other cancer survivors can improve your outlook toward surgery and treatment. Either format offers you the chance to ask questions and feel a bit more prepared as you move forward.

One woman I met asked a lot of questions of her doctors, her surgeon, everyone on her medical treatment team. She wanted to know everything they knew. It was her life and her body - she was going to have control anyway she could.

Another individual used visualization and meditation to prepare for and get through each segment of their cancer treatment. When they had a chemotherapy appointment scheduled they would begin visualizing the chemo turning into little soldiers as it entered their body, hunting down the cancer and destroying it.

There are many great guided meditation and imagery audio programs that you can listen to prior to surgery or treatment. Dr. Bernie Siegel has some of the best for preparedness.

Most importantly, listen to yourself. What feels right to you and helps you to feel calmer and more in control of the situation? Create that for yourself.

I guess the only other thing I would share with you is to not be afraid to share your thoughts, concerns and feelings with other people. If you are worried about how your family or friends might take what you have to say - call is at Wellness House. We are here to listen with compassion, confidentiality and understanding.

What is it that they say? Oh ya, "What's said in Wellness House, stays in Wellness House."

Blessings, Nan