What Support Do You Need As A Caregiver?

Ms. Rain was a kindergarten teacher. During the school year her days were busy with caring for 45-60 five year old boys and girls, eager to learn and share all their new discoveries.

After her eight - nine hour school day Ms. Rains would go home to be the caregiver for her mother and father. Her mother was dieing from cancer. Her father had complications from diabetes. Her father would care for her mother as best he could during the day, but when Ms. Rain got home and on weekends her second job became care giving for her ill parents.

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Janice was in her 50s when she met Daniel. He was a charming old cowboy that treated her like a lady. Eventually he asked her to marry him. They planned for many years together and eventually to grow old.

But before they could get married, Daniel was diagnosed with a recurrence of prostate cancer. In order to receive benefits at his current rate, Janice and Daniel could not get married. Then Daniel decided not to complete treatment. He didn't want to finish his last few days with Janice sick, thin and lifeless. Janice took leave from work to stay home and care for Daniel. Eventually hospice was ordered and hospice nurses would be coming to their home, to Janice's distress. Especially one day when their regular nurse did not show and a replacement was sent. Janice was not about to leave her house and her love alone with a complete stranger. She canceled all her appointments for that day after throwing the nurse out.

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For 54 years, Jim and Louise had spent their life together: building a home, raising a family and recently, taking trips south during the winter. It was on one of these trips that Louise became very sick; they needed to come home early. She saw her doctor and was diagnosed with late stage ovarian cancer.

Jim had a difficult time caring for Louise at home. He had a farm to take care of, it was their livelihood. Jim was forced to put Louise into a nursing home. He visited her every day, either at lunch or dinner time to make sure she was eating something. He would stay and hold her hand or read to her. When he left he always felt guilty; that he wasn't doing the right thing for her. A week before she died, Jim brought her home and set her up on the couch where she was most comfortable.

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What do these three stories have in common? Besides being true (the names were changed for privacy), they reflect the reality caregivers, especially caregivers of family members, are faced with every day.

Isolation, exhaustion, frustration, fear, depression, guilt - these are just a few of the common feelings that caregivers have. Many times the care givers become ill during the time they are providing care or shortly after they are done serving as a care giver.

It is Wellness House's desire to not only provide support programs for the patient, but to provide support for the caregiver, family and friends, as well.

So we are asking you - the care giver - what do you need? What can we provide to you that will help you during your time of providing care for a loved one? What about after? What are your needs following the end of your time as a caregiver?

Please share your thoughts with us. Your input would be greatly appreciated.